Hells Delivery Boy
by PlagueGod1
Summary: A new sinner in hell fresh for the picking with no idea what hes in for. All he knows is that hes now a delivery boy and he has no idea what gang wars have to do with delivering packages.
1. Chapter 1

I do not own any piece of this show whatsoever.

Its cold. These were the first thoughts that came to my mind after waking up. Its cold and I don't like it. My first instinct is to open my eyes and look up to the red sky above me. I can't help but wonder where I am now, after all the sky isn't supposed to be red right? I sit up and feel a piercing pain in my skull causing my vision to blur horribly, turning the world into an odd mixture of shapes, colors, and sounds.

"What is going on?" I wonder out loud taking in the shapes whizzing bye my eyes and the odd colors made into even odder shapes that I assume are people, but people don't get that thin, or that large, nor do they have extra limbs. In a panic I jump to my feet and look before my headache flares like a sledgehammer on my skull almost forcing me back to my knees. 'I need to get away, I need to go' These were my only thoughts as I stumbled my way past the blobs that were beginning to clear up, but this did not make me feel any better as they became an assortment of odd and in most cases terrifying creatures.

I manage to stumble my way into what I can now tell is an alley before collapsing back to my knees in pain from my head. "What is going on?" I rasp in urgency as I begin to hyperventilate. Suddenly, as if in response to my question a voice cuts through my haze of confusion "Your new." These two words were spoken in a statement as if they were commenting that the ocean was blue, dryly and as if I were an idiot for asking them such a stupid question. I whipped my head around and stared at the newcomer with wide eyes speechless. It was as if someone had taken a werewolf and minotaur and bred them. Its fur was matted and grey with patches shorter than the others as if they were in a fight recently. The face was like a border collies, oddly enough, with ram horns twisting around between its doglike ears. Their arms were big with hands that looked like they belonged more on a gorilla than a dog, but with short, and in hindsight admittedly well trimmed, claws. Their torso looked like somebody had grabbed a dog and somehow altered its bone structure to make them bipedal with a hunchback. His chest fur looked like it was supposed to be fluffy, but had a patchwork of scars and had a few patches missing. The legs were like that of a goats and had thick fur, but oddly enough had no missing patches of fur from what little I could see. They were tall, one of the tallest beings I had ever seen. I think they might be scratching 9ft tall really. Oddly enough it wore a pair of denim jeans that went down to his second leg joint and somehow fit.

All I could do was stare at it as it gazed with a bored expression on its face for a few seconds, before my body caught up with my mind and I collapsed backwards after tripping on my own two feet. All it did was stare at me as my arms rose up to protect my face and I cowered on the ground. I closed my eyes as I waited to be mauled by the beast in front of me. It felt like an eternity as I sat there tensed for an attack on my person. Seconds ticked away as I waited for it to happen, for my death.

Eventually I was able to open my eyes and look back at the being. It had an incredible amount of amusement across its face as it watched me cower. Finally, after an eternity it opened its mouth "You done cowering yet?" he spoke with great mirth "I haven't got all day man". I slowly lowered my arms in confusion at his words, a strangled "What…?" was all I was able to get out. "Are. you. Done." he spoke slowly as if he believed me to be incredibly slow "I got better things to do, but im feelin fucking generious now get off the ground already stupid." He spoke with a gruff voice that betrayed his amusement.

I scrambled to my feet idly noticing how small my hands were, but deeming it unimportant. "W-Where am I?" I said with trepidation. He smiled widely with teeth gleaming from a source from behind me, possibly a street light, as he said "Hell". This caught me off guard as I hurriedly asked again "W-What?" before getting a similar reply again "Your in hell short stack, I guess I should say welcome then." he said as if the statement itself was amusing to him. "What do you mean im in hell!?" I yelled in a booming voice, it sounded a bit like cannon fire to be honest, hysterically wondering what the hell was going on. His ears laid themselves back in aggravation as he winced holding his hands to his ears "Fuck Man!" He yells angrily "For fucks sake your in fucking hell you one eyed shrimp of an annoyance!" he grit out. He slowly calmed himself before turning back to me "Yes your in hell, yes you died, yes I look like a goddamn furry, now do you have any relevant fucking questions or are you going to fucking keep blasting my ears?" he growled.

I couldn't find any words in me after the shock he just gave me, all I could think to say was "One eye?" I don't know how one could look at someone more like they were an idiot than this man right now. "You really didn't notice the whole one eye thing? It's a pretty prominent piece of your anatomy, considering how huge the damn thing is." At this I closed my eyes, now eye I guess, and ran my hand over my face. Suffice to say I noticed the large eyelid, but I also noticed my mouth stretched much farther now and my face felt rounder and dare I say my skin felt a bit softer too. Additionally my fingertips felt sharp as all hell and I'm glad I didn't accidentally stab myself. After pulling my hands away I opened my eye to inspect them. The skin on my hands and wrist looked like they had red paint dumped on them. My hands were solid red while further up my arm it grew less solid and closer to dots. They were also thin, as if I had no real meat on my bones. The same could be said for the rest of my body, as I was extremely thin now with almost no real muscle mass. I also noticed I was wearing jean shorts, and a plain white tee. I wasn't wearing shoes, and I wasn't sure I could now anyway due to how sharp my toes claws looked. They also had the odd painted look like my hands. The man, I guess, cut through the silence with an amused "You done checking yourself out there bud or do I gotta turn around before you start dropping your pants and goin to town?" My eye snapped back up to him in shock "What -no! Why would I do that?" His smile was full of teeth as he looked ready to laugh "Your in hell boy. If you think that hasn't happened before then your not all that smart are you? Anyway before we go on I gotta ask, are you any good at driving trucks?" he asked randomly causing my head to instinctively tilt before nodding. I had experience driving as I owned a pick up truck I had inherited from my grandfather before his death. After it broke down I got another truck and had it painted red with a black stripe, just like grandpas old wagon. I also had to work for UPS for awhile and deliver packages during college. "Good that's all I needed to hear, want a job?" I could feel my face scrunch up in visible confusion as I said "What?" "I asked if you want a job. Even in hell money makes the world go round boy, if not more so since its hell. Your new, unaffiliated with any gang, and can drive a truck now do you want a job or not, I don't want to waste any more time here if you don't." he said snorting in a very bull like manner.

"What do you mean 'unaffiliated with any gang'?" he sighed as if he bore a heavy burden for having to answer my questions, the dick. "Your still neutral to any gangs by virtue of being new to hell. I own a small shipping company and need a neutral affiliate to deliver some packages since I have so few drivers who will go certain places due to gang affiliation." he finished with a roll of his eyes, now that i'm not as freaked out I notice he really is a dick. "You have no job, no home, no friends, and no reasons not to deliver packages to anyone who we have to send them to."

As he said this it finally clicked in my head that this was really hell and I was in a different world, with no money, no house, nothing. I'm close to panicking until I remember that he's offering me a job which would likely at least pay for some food. God damn it his offer is looking a lot better now. After a brief moment of contemplation I finally say "Alright, what do I have to do?" The man's smile grows wider, but oddly enough he's starting to not look as intimidating as he was when I first saw him. He almost looks like a dog what was just given a biscuit. I can't help but smile as well after that thought. "Right just follow me to the warehouse and I'll get you filled in along the way.

As we traverse out of the alley way I can't help but marvel at all the different beings around me. Spider people, red skinned demons, other cyclops, and so much more. One other thing that stuck out to me was that most were dressed in older styled clothes, like they were ripped right outta some old book. I swear I saw some woman just walk past across the street in a ripped up victorian era dress. I saw a good amount also wearing more modern dress, but it still bugged me. Along the way I asked questions about hell and its denizens and learned much about my new home. Apparently hell used to be ruled solely by demons, before sinners began to over run hell at around WW1. After that demons mostly left sinners to their own devices and the city was built. The demons noticed that even without them doing anything nothing much else happened to them as a people from the sinners because as the saying goes "It's hell and nobody really fucking cares." For the most part politics shifted dramatically to include the few truly powerful sinners.

As it turns out how you died and acted in life affects how you look in hell greatly. A sinner who lived his life loyal to a cause or group that ultimately wasn't beneficial, like a gang, might end up looking like some form of dog like my current guide. For me I was a coward in life and never really had anybody, except grandpa, to rely on. I was short, scrawny, and prone to losing focus due to my ADHD. I was always afraid to connect to people and spent most of my life alone. This gave me the body of an even smaller, scrawner, cyclops which are known to be 'vicious little shits when pissed off' apparently. Were apparently deceptively sturdy no matter the size, as we can be flattened by a boulder and crawl back out fine. This was comforting news, but the real kicker is that there is usually some indicator as to how you died on you. For example someone who drowned might become part fish, or someone who was mauled might have some claw like markings. For me I apparently had a red tattoo looking piece of skin around my neck that looked like someone painted red barbed wire on my neck the same color as my hands.

On a side note I am actually primarily grey in skin tone, any my teeth make my look like a walking piranha when I smile according to Phillip, which is the name of my new employer. As we came upon what is apparently Phillips warehouse life seems to be looking up for me.


	2. Chapter 2

I do not own any piece of this show whatsoever.

Looking at the warehouse that houses Phillips office, I may not have thought things through so well. "What in the hell happened here?" I couldn't help but ask in disbelief as I looked at the warehouse in disbelief. To put it simply, it looked like a shithole. There were holes in the roof from what looked to be an assortment of different things, from bullets to something as large as a person! It was a pale grey building with a black roof. The windows were blacked out too, which is weird. Oddly enough it was surrounded by other warehouses that he said he also owned that were marginally better off than his 'office'. At this point I can only ponder if it actually rains in hell or not, because that looks like it would be hell, pardon the pun, to deal with. Weirdly enough is was also introduced with a "Welcome to my shithole of an office runt!" by Phillip. To say I was shocked would be an understatement.

My new boss looked at me in amusement, he seems to do this a lot, before beginning the last half of the journey to the warehouse. We were only a block away after all. "You know many of your questions can just be answered with its fucking hell right runt?" I think he may have found his new favorite nickname for me, because he seems to enjoy calling me runt a lot on the journey to this place. "However, this is a more recent thing. A gang decided that they didn't take kindly to the fact that we deliver to just about anyone, including his rivals, so he came to dissuade us of doing business with them." At this his grin widened to an extent I didn't think was possible, and I think his teeth look sharper for some reason. "Me and Dale showed them exactly why that is a bad idea," he chuckled a bit before adding "might have got a bit enthusiastic though and made some holes in the roof that we still haven't patched yet." After finishing this his smile turned sour "scared away most of our delivery boys though. They usually aint made of real strong stuff since their job is to drive and deliver packages. Also most of them lived near or inside that gangs territory so they needed to get outta dodge before they get targeted at home." he said with an agonized sigh. I couldn't tell if he was sad this happened or if he was sad it lost him employees.

As I stood there wondering if it was too late to walk away and simply be homeless he grabbed my shoulder and pushed me along. I seriously considering whether or not this monster can read my mind, his amused snort after he takes my shoulder isn't helping. The rest of the way seemed so short now to my panicked mind. As my new boss opens the door to the building I shut my eyes and preemptively wince when he takes his hand off of me.I hear him continue on his way inside while I wait outside. After a moment I opened my eyes to see the inside of the building. I am pleasantly surprised to see a normal warehouse interior. There's lots of boxes and shelves, but none of it looks broken or even scratched at all. I could still see the holes in the roof and there were a few dented ceiling beams, but nothing too bad, As I continued my observation of the area I didn't notice my legs take me inside and come to a stop beside Phillip. He allowed me another moment to look over the area before cutting through my contemplative gaze "Odd isn't it? How can everything here be pristine while the outside looks like shit?" he asked me clearly amused by how startled I was from his sudden words. "Answer is that we have a standard here runt. It doesn't matter how dinged up our bodies and buildings can get, it doesn't matter how hurt we are. They will get their packages no guarantee in pristine condition." he said with pride in his voice before glancing back down at me "On that note we also have to be careful anyway because many people just ship bombs an shit. I don't know about you but exploding fucking hurts." he said with a roll of his eyes and a shake of his head.

"Anyway let's get to my office so I can get some paperwork done. Even in hell that shit still exists. As do taxes." He said annoyed as we started walking through the building. His office was on the other side of the building in the right corner. "Only reason that shit exists is cuz the old demons pretty much take care of the community shit like roads, and banks an shit. We have to pay taxes or else they'll fucking spell bomb your god damn place of business."

He stops walking for a moment as if remembering something "Oh yeah magic an shits real so if you were some fucking wizard in life tell me now so I know weather or not to pay you more." he said this as deadpan as possible making me pretty sure he was serious "Uh no?" After my denile he shrugged before commenting "Well you'll learn a bit of it in training since we line our crates in runes. I got a book of rune magic as a gift from one of the princes of hell after personally delivering over 100 packages to and from him all in perfect condition. Man wanted some weird shit, but I didn't ask questions and he respected that. Were also his main delivery company so you might meet him later." after that huge info dump he dropped on me all I could do was gape at him like an idiot. I'd like to say he kept walking and didn't notice how stupid I must of looked, but that would be a lie, he was lauhing his ass off. Also apparently my mouth can stretch wide and open enough to fit almost my whole head inside and unhinges like a snake. I could have lived my afterlife not knowing that, thanks Phillip.

So after my disbelief I just decided to accept anything that happens is normal and I can't be bothered anymore. I might be in shock or numb, but at this point I don't care. He could tell me that we could go back to earth with some spell and I wouldn't be surprised. Either way learning fucking magic sounds like a bomb ass deal to have for an orientation, but I have to wonder. Just how common is magic down here? If he can freely give out magic as a training utensil and work tool is it really that uncommon to have?

As these thoughts ran through my mind we finally ended up in his office and after a bit of observation I couldn't help but look at the full wall of fucking diplomas. Ok now what the shit? How can one man have this many degrees!? Theres like fucking 15 of them. "I see you've noticed my wall of knowledge then runt?" he said with his chest puffed out in pride. "See that's what gets ya far down here in hell runt, knowledge. You gotta know things so other assholes think your worth something and are less inclined to cap your ass. On that note, having a unique skill your good at is also good, I suppose." He finished his half brag tangent by laying a contract on the desk. "Now this shits a waiver and a contract that says you can't tell corporate secrets, not liable for damages, bla bla bla. Ok here's the down low Runt," Ok I could hear the capitalization in Runt there. I guess i'm not getting out of being called that from now on. "This contract is made and outlined with fucking runes that I had to bargin a fucking PRINCE to help me god damn make. You try to tell people or teach people theshit you learn here we will know, and you will FUCKING SUFFER." As he spoke smoke began to began coming out of his nostrils and mouth and sparks were going everywhere. To say I was scared would be an understatement, I only just managed to not piss myself in fucking fear. Thank a higher power for that.

As he seems to start coming down from his rant he seems to finally notice my terrified shivering, that and I may or may not have been hiding behind the chair I was formerly sitting in at the beginning of the conversation. Flaming wolf minotaurs are scary! He coughed before awkwardly saying "Sorry about that, that was unprofessional of me. We value professionalism here and I may have gotten a bit, heated." I nodded my head as I crawled my way back onto the chair "Ye-yeah let's just move on ok?" I say trying to move this further along so I don't have to keep imagining burning alive. "Anyway just sign here," he said and before I knew it I was already employed at Hells Delivery Service. Also that is apparently the name of the company. As I signed the lasp paper I am happy to place the pen, that is also chained to his desk, back down and flex my hand. I never liked paperwork. After giving it a once over he placed it back in front of me "Now are you sure this is your name?" he said gesturing to my full human name "Lots of people around here either go by their first name or make one up to live by. Either of these work if i'm being honest, but I need to know now before I sign them and make it permanent. A new world a new you." He said and as I looked back at the page of work holding my past I couldn't help but scowl. No I really didn't want to be the old me. The old me was weak, and alone. I'll never be that me again, I'll work hard and I'll work fast. I'll make the old useless me seem like a pipe dream, but what do I call myself. Phillip may call me Runt, but I sure as hell don't want that to be my actual name. A nickname sure, but not a name. I don't want to rush making it, but there's not much time. Wait, rush… I work at a delivery company and for the most part I want to distance myself from my old slacker roots, so what about Rush? As I suggest that to my boss he just shrugged before replying "Not the weirdest ive ever heard, theres a porn star whose actual name is Angel Dust. Angel Dust is a drug around here that apparently they named themselves after." He didn't seem to have a high opinion of the prostitute, but I kept my thoughts to myself. As my old name was whited out and my new one was written down a sense of satisfaction washed over me. This is a new chapter in my life, it may be in hell, but it's my life!

As he finished looking over and signing the paperwork he nodded before getting a big smile on his face "Welcome to the team. I can't wait to see where your abilities lie." he said nodding before looking at the clock. "Well looks like we still got time, it's only 3, but I might as well just show you where our dorms are." At that I looked at him oddly before he chuckled "When your in hell the closer you can live to your work the better. Dorms are pretty common, but their usually just a one room apartment that a company owns. Most large corporations down here have them, because it's better for their employees to have some place to go shower and sleep so they don't stink up the work. Certain places don't have them, like small businesses and hotels." he says informatively, even though I never asked about other places. He carried on for a bit longer in his informative monolog. Something something something took the idea from Japan. I think he just likes hearing himself talk if i'm being honest. While he's speaking he leads me outside to a warehouse 2 down the way with a giant 4 on the front. It looks like its slightly bigger than normal, but inside I can see there are tons of huge crates stacked on top of each other with little trap doors on the side and ladders leading to those doors built as well. Each had a shipping sticker and weren't all that odd besides the name plates hammered in above the doors. The boxes themselves are almost as bit as a roo- don't tell me i'm living in a box now. "Please don't tell me I'm living in a box now." "Ok I won't, but I will say pick a room that doesn't have a nailed in sign above the door and the community showers in the back. Orientation starts at 9am tomorrow. I'll leave you to it." Fuck, well I guess I'll be living in a box from now on. Great, just great...


	3. Chapter 3

I do not own any piece of this show whatsoever.

Ok so the new chapter in my life starts with getting strong armed into a job, although the alternative is being homeless, and living in a box. This is just perfect. Not gonna lie though some of these boxes are really big. Like 10ft squared big, which is actually crazy and i'm starting to think this place is bigger on the inside, but i'm just going to blame magic and be on my way. On that note of size as it turns out im only like 4'5ish so I actually shrunk in death, yay. I decided to just pick one that was only like 8ft squared, because when I got enough money im moving my happy ass out of here so ill just stick it out. Correction the boxes inside was big enough to fit a regular bedroom inside. They are still giant ass shipping crates with trap doors in the side, but in all honesty the insides are ok. I don't know if there was a previous owner or whatever, but my rooms pretty nice actually. It has dark red wallpaper covering it, and a sofa bed that takes up the far wall. The bed is also black, and I think im starting to realize a theme when it comes to color around here, but im not gonna judge when it comes to repetition. In all honesty im going to see if I can replace the wallpaper with some nice beige later on. I like beige sue me. Carrying on I also had a stand next to the trapdoor which opened up on the left corner of my new box. I'm calling it my box from now on, I don't care if it's a box its mine and I can do what I want with it. I think I might actually stay here, it's nice. The admittedly really large wooden stand had drawers in the bottom and looked like it was supposed to have a tv or something on it. I'm going to replace that later for a pc stand if I can. I may not be trying to become a slob who lives on the internet again, but I can't deny they are extremely useful. Like everything else though the stand is as black as my new carpeted floor. Searching through the drawers leads me to believe that someone definitely left this box in a hurry because there's some nice stuff in here. There was a microwave and mini fridge under the stand inside the drawers, like it was hidden or something. There was even some milk and eggs in here still! I don't know if you can microwave an egg in a microwave, but im willing to try. Another thing is that there's some chicken ramen beside the fridge. Again there's a lot of shit in here if i'm being honest and at one point I pushed the fridge aside and saw even more space, like enough that I could crawl inside. Ok never mind selling the thing this bitch is mine now and i'll fight somebody for it! On a side note, the only real source of light in the room was a lamp on top of the stand with a single bulb. The lamp was pointed at a full length mirror on the right side of the room. I stood in front of the mirror and was really able to examine my new body effectively. I had curves. Like my hips were actually a bit wider than my chest, which was new to me. I was still a stick, but I was a curvy stick. Taking off my shirt only revealed that my chest was grey, and I had no nipples. Trippy, but i'm a man and it's not like I can produce milk anyway so no sweat off my back On another note I finally got to see my hair, and it was as long as it was before, and just as black. I'm a bit happy my hair didn't change, but it now goes to my mid back instead of my shoulders. I'll need to get another hair tie or braid it later. I need to get a change of clothes later, but that was after my first paycheck.

So note to self if runes can do all this neat stuff I really gotta pay attention to the orientation. On that note, if I remember correctly, he said the orientations at 9am or something and I don't have an alarm clock. Ok don't panic I can just buy- wait I don't have any money. Maybe I can get one of my neighbors to help me? They might be dicks or whatever, but even assholes can be nice every once in awhile. Ok if I remember right I have a neighbor two boxes below me in one of the big boxes one above the ground level. I like being high up. I don't remember what their name was, but it's my best shot right now. So with this thought in mind I opened my door in the wall, which I had to come out legs first and swing myself over to the ladder. I don't know if my new body could handle a drop over 20ft down. As I climbed down I reviewed what I was going to say to my neighbor and rehearsed it in my head. I'm not the best at social interaction, but I think I can do this. As I finally made my way down I noticed their name plate read Johnny, and silently wondered how common weird names were if I had already met only a Phillip and now Johnny. This set my anxiety ablaze, but I kept climbing. Steeling my nerves, I leaned over and knocked on the door quickly three, exactly three times, and waited.

After a moment I heard what sounded like skittering on the other side. Like actual multilimb skittering and it made me a bit hesitant as to what is about to come out the door. The door unlatched on the other side and opened to show a 5 eyed spider woman. I don't mean like she had a bunch of arms, but her actual lower half was a spider and she had two eyes where her eyebrows should be and one vertical on her forehead. She was black and a bit shiny and had a pretty large rack. Her hair was long and fell over one side of her face in rivets, but was white as snow. She was kinda hot if i'm being honest and only wearing a large shirt with a broken heart on the front that covered her half of her abdomen in its size, but was really baggy. After a moment she decided to break the silence "Well well well who are you bug?" she said and I swear to that asshole god her voice was like fucking velvet. "I-I uh I need t-to um I mean I uh fuck me" I am such a poet I swear. I think she was heavily amused by this and was taking enjoyment in my pain because she leaned outside the doorway and propped herself on her hands meaning she was laying down and I got a view due to her shirt being really big. Like I don't know if that shirts hers, or some really big dudes. I think I might need a cold shower after this. Hell give me strength. "You want to fuck me darling?" I shivered at how she purred the word darling "Well I think most of us down here enjoy that great pastime. I might consider this proposition." she said with a quirk of her lips. She seemed heavily amused "N-No! I mean I need-" she interrupted me "No? Such a shame then I thought you might need some help with that." she said pretending to sound disappointed. I swear shes fucking with me, but im not good at this. "N-No i'm sorry I just need an alarm clock, o-or someone to wake me in the morning tomorrow!" I said quickly hoping to end this already. I feel bad enough and just want to curl up in a nice corner in my box already. "Oh well I guess I can help you with that darling." she said before lifting herself on her arms and stretching her back for a bit. I can't tell if i love this woman or hate her immensely. After another agonizingly blissful moment she rose up and went back into her room. I peered inside after her and wasn't surprised to see the box was much bigger than mine, and had a king size bed with a black cover filled with little red hearts. It was the size of an actual apartment rather than my bedroom sized box. I couldn't tell if she had one of those awesome drawer stands like I did, but I assumed she didn't. Point to me. She did have a large wardrobe inside was looking through a desk on the other side. After a moment she came back with one of those stereotypical electronic clocks that told the time and was an alarm clock. The letters would likely be green and the clock itself was a black brick. "I think I'll enjoy working with you darling. Here you go, It should still have batteries inside and it's pretty loud. I was planning on throwing it away next garbage day since I got a phone with an alarm strong enough now. Here" she said before handing me the clock, but not before brushing her thumb against my hand making me shiver. Ok I am 100% sure she's teasing me and I am honestly shifting to just hating her. She makes great eye candy though.

After taking my goal with a zelda noise going off in my head I scampered my happy ass up that ladder as fast as I physically could. I think I heard her laughing at my retreating form as I climbed, and I swear I heard her say "Nice ass darling." to my retreating form which made me just climb a bit faster. I all but lunged back into my box and latched the door as quickly as possible. Before collapsing on my stomach in front of it. I had a long ass day and if I'm being honest my nerves are shot. As I lay on the ground I placed the alarm in front of me and began the process of turning on and setting my alarm, before realizing it defaulted at 12:00 and I needed to ask someone what time it was and almost cried. I finally found the strength to stand and decided to say fuck it and find another less intense neighbor. I could take someone hating me and cursing the day away, but I can't handle a woman. I think I felt grandpa roll in his grave at my thoughts and could only apologise to him in my head. After what felt like an eternity I mustered up enough courage to finally stick my head back out and look around for another neighbor I could ask. As if the gods were on my side I had a neighbor to the left of me, which is the side my doors on. I couldn't climb over to them if I wanted to, at least I don't think I could. I don't know much with this new body, maybe my claws could help me climb? Anyway all I had to do was lean a bit and knock on the box a few times.

After a few moments of nothing I rapped on the box again this time harder. As I was about to knock again a female voice called out "I'm comin I'm comin! Antichrist quit yer goddamn knockin!" please dear satan don't let this go over the way it did last time. I don't think I could handle it. Her door flew open and the woman looked over to the ladder puzzled for a moment before looking to me on the other side of the ladder. She was a fox, like in the literal sense. She was still bigger than me, but nowhere near Phillips giant size. She also had red fur and was wearing what i'd assume someone going to a rave would wear. I mean she had glow sticks attached to her wrists and was wearing a black crop top with ripped black jeans. I can safely say she was the fluffiest thing I had ever had the absolute pleasure to look at. I got my bearings much quicker than last time due to not being as intimidated "Hey i'm your new neighbor Rush! Um I just got an alarm clock, but I don't know what time it is. I'm pretty new." I said sheepishly. I don't know how I know, but she rolled her eyes. Her eyes were covered in her fluffy hair, which was white oddly enough, was so puffy it almost doubled her size. That's not to take into account her tail which was as long as her body and as fluffy as her hair. I like her already just from her appearance alone. "Alright so ye need the time then do ye Runt?" Retract that entire last statement, shes a bitch, and I think she might be a bit scottish "Well it's fuckin half passed 7 on the dot fucko. Now don't be fuckin bother me again ye hear?" I rolled my eye at her before nodding "I got it, I got it" Under my breath I said "Bitch." "The fuck ye say ta me ye little shit!?" I leaned back out and said "I said fuck you!" I said angrily "No fuck you!" she said back at me. I'm not proud to say that we went on like this for a few minutes. "Well who the fuck are you anyway bitch!" I said getting tired of the childish back and forth. "Im fuckin Roxxie betch." she said angrily. I don't know how she can enunciate having two Xes in her name, but she did. "Well fuck you Roxxie im fucking out see ya!" I said as I headed inside. I think we bonded "Fuck off" she said going back into her room.

After setting my clock for 7:45pm, because i like setting clocks fast and set my alarm for 8:30am. I like waking up early and I couldn't remember if Phillip said 9 or 9:30. After finally placing my clock on the arm of the couch and folding it out I lied down to contemplate what my life has turned into and how much its changed in the past few hours. From dying, to going to hell, to working for a wolfotour, my life has really turned around, and I don't know if it's for the better or the worse. Only time will tell.


End file.
